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Why I love my ‘offensive’ Christmas jumpers

I’ve put inverted commas around the word, ‘offensive’, because it’s so subjective. People choose to be amused or offended by a couple of my Christmas jumpers, but the intent is not to harm. I just don’t love Christmas like other people do. So I do what it takes to get me through the season.

I don’t have the “Jingle Bellend” one with the arrow, I’ve resisted the “Jingle my Bells” and “Tits the Season” ones because I’m far too well endowed in the bust department. There are no references to body parts, sex, and no naughty words. 

But some people are offended by my beautiful Cath Kidston “Bah Humbug” jumper. I think it’s because it looks jolly and elf-like, and then the message is too Scrooge for their liking. I get it, I really do. If I’m excited by something and the people around me don’t share my excitement, it’s disappointing.

I love that jumper though. If the weather were right, I would wear it from the first mention of the c word (in August in our extended family) right through to Boxing Day. The only time I’d switch it out would be for my other, far less offensive, Christmas jumper. It’s the Home Alone on that says, “Merry Christmas ya filthy animal”. I’d pop that one on for Christmas Day I think.

While we’re on the subject of being offended at Christmas …

What’s the most offensive Christmas present you’ve ever received?

If someone has bothered to buy you a gift, it’s likely that they’re saying “you mean something to me”. Unless they’re so wealthy that they can afford to be passive aggressive in their gift giving, I suppose?

I don’t get offended by gifts. It just feels weird to me. But I’ve heard some cracking stories of people who’ve been offended by a gift. 

My favourite is the mechanic who bought his wife a carburetor because her car needed it. She was so offended, enraged actually, that she threw her sewing machine at him. The thing about this story is that so many people understood her rage. They felt that, after so many years of marriage, he should have known the kind of gift she’d value and appreciate. It’s fascinating how few people considered, after so many years of marriage, she might have known that he’d express his love for her by making sure she’s driving around in a safe and well maintained car.

People call me The Grinch a lot over Christmas. I love it. I’m in no way offended by it, or by the Grinch slippers or Grinch pyjamas I’ve been given. I love it because the Grinch quite famously captures the spirit of giving at Christmas after puzzling on it (til his puzzler was sore) … 

“Maybe Christmas,” he thought, “doesn’t come from a store. Maybe Christmas… perhaps… means a little bit more?” ~ How the Grinch Stole Christmas.

Holding fast to my inner Grinch, I honestly cannot think of the most offensive Christmas gift I’ve ever received. It simply makes no sense to me.

Anyway, below are a few “offensive” and “grinchy” Christmas items that we think you might like.

Merry Christmas ya filthy animals. Enjoy!

Wild Bobby

Wild Bobby designs potentially offensive, yet, in my mind, definitely funny Christmas sweatshirts. These sweaters are sold at a variety of price points and there is a wide selection of styles and designs to choose from, and you can often find deals and discounts on them via Amazon.

Grinchy Christmas Gifts

What does it mean to be Grinchy? Well, according to the Urban Dictionary, Grinchy is “a person that seems mean and sour, and also looks ugly on the outside, but once you become a close friend will stick by your side until the day you die.”